For the sole purpose of me remembering what the Lord has been teaching me, I need to write this down.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about the Holy Spirit and how thankful for the blessings that come along with it. Not only do I have assurance in my salvation because God has given it to me as a deposit guaranteeing my inheritance, but he chooses to help me follow him and love him. I was also thinking about what it means to walk in the Spirit. I know that my default setting is not too pretty, but sometimes I think that by changing my behavior I can somehow get away with looking like I am in the Spirit...which basically defeats the purpose of relying on him in the first place. I have noticed that lately, at my best in my flesh I am impatient, easily frustrated and far from compassionate...among many other things. But God has helped me to rely on him more and when I do it's like magic. All of a sudden, I care about people and what they are going through to the point of crying with them, I don't care if they don't meet my expectations or fail me and I am not angered by things that usually annoy me.
Two things I want to learn from this.
1. That I can do absolutely NOTHING apart from Christ and I need him desperately if I want to love him and love people. He really does deserve all the credit for every good thing that has come from my life and any little bit of growth that has occurred.
2. I don't want to forget specifically when it was so very obvious that God's Spirit was working in me. When I got together with a couple girls and instead of getting frustrated when they didn't want to talk to me and were unloving, I was patient and persisted to find out how I could love them and what was going on in their hearts. It was so opposite what I would naturally do in that situation.
Today was really awesome as well, but I must admit that my attitude was not the greatest when the day began. I woke up to a phone call from Josh Moklestad asking me if I could sing for church. Before I even answered, I knew what he would ask of me and I almost didn't answer because I wanted to sleep in. But the Spirit pulled through and I agreed. Immediately I went into panic mode wondering if I would forget the words, what should I wear, wear do I put my hands while I sing. Just as I was going through my book of lyrics to quiz myself on if I knew them or not, I realized that everything I was doing was totally on my own strength. Instead of trying harder to make sure I wouldn't make a fool out of myself, I didn't think about praying for God's help instead. So that's what I did. And of course he didn't fail me. As we were running through the songs, I also had an episode. I went back in to panic mode. Now I was really in a pickle because my memory is totally shot after episodes. But God gave me LOTS of grace to continue to entrust everything to him. And of course we sounded great, God helped me to be humble and give him all the praise for what happened this morning. All this to say that it's totally worth it when we choose to rely on God rather than ourselves so don't forget that! That story seems like such a dumb example but God used it, no doubt.
Yay Grace!













